Friday, June 4, 2010

My personal dining out demons....

I made plans to have dinner out with my mother tonight….we needed some quality mother daughter bonding. I love going out to eat but unfortunately there are two things in my life that I am learning how to deal with and control that affect my experience.

My dairy allergy has made eating out a bit of a chore. I can no longer go to just any restaurant but have to choose places that will “accommodate” me. For the most part, I am fine with that. It just means I need to go to higher quality restaurants where the chef is good and knows how to prepare meals for me. Fine by me….I was never a fast food girl anyhow!

I went to The Beekman Arms in Rhinebeck tonight and my meal was delicious! The waiter and chef were beyond helpful and they were able to work with me. Thankfully…a good filet mignon is always an option. Unfortunately, no one can help with my other problem.

My doctor told me 3 years ago when I started treatment that we would have no way of knowing how much permanent damage would be done to my nervous system…that between the brain infection and the Lyme settling into my Central Nervous System....I had better prepare myself for problems down the road.

My nervous system runs “high”….too much sound, movement, and over stimulation makes me sick and has the potential to trigger petite seizures. I have not had a seizure since starting treatment and my goal is to keep it that way. I am trying to build a tolerance to outside stimuli and take medication to suppress my nervous system as I need to.

So…let me take you back to the restaurant this evening….it was wonderful to be out. My food was ordered,  drinks were brought to the table, and then the feelings began. I thought I could manage without my medication…but I was mistaken. Halfway through my meal the sounds became highly amplified, the movement was distracting, and I was losing interest in eating. It was all I could do to sit and try to maintain conversation. I had to finish my meal and go. So much for savoring the moment….but lesson learned. I will take my medications going forward if I plan to be out….why ruin a good moment?

I need to learn to stop pushing myself to be the girl I was before and accept the girl I am now. The people in my life accept it, the waiters and chef accept it …maybe it’s time for me to accept it. So I am a little different…who cares…at least I can still eat great food!

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